it has taken me so long to create a website.
partly because i wanted to make something beautiful...
we are so bombarded,
every day... scrolling images,
screens, screens, screens.
i wanted to make something that
was pretty, quiet, calm.
and part of my resistance was just that...
resistance.
i don't want to add to the noise,
i don't want to add to my own distraction,
my own preoccupation and dissatisfaction.
and part of my resistance was...
well, fear maybe
but it didn't feel like fear
it sounded like that voice inside that says:
you have nothing to offer.
that same voice that often says:
why bother.
and that voice,
though quiet,
is deafening.
it can drown out hope
and creativity
and trust
and freedom.
slowly, i'm learning ways
to soften the voice.
to hear it, but not to listen to it.
to stop allowing it
free reign of my thoughts
and brain.
as with all journeys,
this is one made of small steps.
where i crawl back into bed some days,
and some days i feel sparks of joy.
i'm learning that it looks like
discipline and patience
and tiny tiny changes.
so... this is the beginning...
a space to share my small offerings,
to speak freely, and to
welcome others to the hearth
of my heart.